My Hands
by The Shipper of Pairings
Summary: Lightning reflects on the past. Fairron


**ATTENTION: I DDON'T OWN FINAL FANTASY OR THE SONG 'MY HANDS'. ALL RIGHTS GO TO THEIR OWNERS. PLEASE, NO REPORTING.**

My Hands

'I wake in the morning

Tired of sleeping

Get in the shower'

Lightning woke up feeling empty. She walked around feeling empty. She was empty. She's lost everything: her sister, her father, her mother,

Her lover.

'And make my bed alone

I put on my makeup

Talking to the mirror

Ready for a new day

Without you'

Yes, Lightning had a lover, a SOLDIER from another world. His name was Zack Fair. He was a very light-hearted individual, with his excited attitude and general puppy like aura. He was tall, very tall in fact, and he had spikey black hair. His eyes were glowing blue, which is a feature all SOLDIERs shared apparently. Lightning wouldn't know, she's never met another SOLDIER.

'And I walk steady on my feet'

Lightning met him a long time ago, before Serah became a l'Cie. She remembered watching the fireworks alone when someone whispered, "Don't turn around." It surprised her that someone just walked up behind her, a member of the GC, and said that, but she nodded slowly. The person then whispered, "Look, if anyone asks, we're here together. Got it? Don't be afraid, I'm running from someone. I swear I didn't do anything."

'I talk my voice obeys me

I go out at night

Sleep without the lights

And I do all of the things

I have to keeping you off my mind

But when I think I'll be alright

I am always wrong cause'

Lightning asked quietly, "Why should I? You could be a murderer, or a criminal on the run." The person laughed, "Hilarious. But I'm not. Just go with it." Lightning paused, then sighed, "Fine, whatever."

'My hands

Don't wanna start again

My hands

No they don't wanna understand

My hands

They just shake and try to break

whatever peace I may find'

Lightning broke out of the memory when she heard Sazh call her. It was time to leave and continue wandering. Lightning looked down at her gloved hands. The hands that were once entwined with his. The hands that let him go to his death... The hands that can never be healed...

'My hands

They only agree to hold

Your hands

And they don't wanna be without

Your hands

And they will not let me go

No they will not let me go'

As the group was traveling, Lightning once more drifted into the past. The painful past...

After the incident, the person revealed himself. He was tall, very tall, at least seven inches taller than Lightning. He had short, spikey black hair and glowing blue eyes. He wore a uniform that was familiar to Lightning: the uniform of a Shinra SOLDIER. Dear Etro, she was looking at a SOLDIER, the rivals of the Guardian Core. The hatred between the two military divisions seemed silly, but it went back to the founding days, even though GC is much older than SOLDIER. The SOLDIER boy seemed harmless enough, but Lightning knew better. The SOLDIERs were extremely powerful, thanks to the Mako that enhanced their systems. They were extremely dangerous.

The SOLDIER boy said cheerfully, "Hi! Thanks for helping me! This weird guy was chasing me around saying I cheated him out of some money, but all we played was poker!"

Lightning shook her head at this moron's obliviousness. Poker here was like the game of life and death, meaning if you win, you die. She snapped, "Don't do that again, moron!"

'I talk about you now

And go a day without crying

I go out with my friends now

I stay home all alone

I don't see you everywhere

I can say your name easily

I laugh a bit louder

Without you'

Lightning learned that the SOLDIER boy's name is Zack, Zack Fair. Soon, as they began to spend more time together, Lightning began to learn much more about Zack.

He loved cuddling, very much so. He would visit her house, and I immediately, he would hug her happily. Of course, she would begrudgingly hug him back for only a moment, then threaten him in order to get him off of her. He also slept very deeply, if he was tired enough. Sometimes, he could go days without sleep, with that energy of his. After those days though, he would sleep for a massive amount of time, sometimes for two days straight, to gather that immense energy up once more. As time passed, Lightning began to fall in love with that SOLDIER...

'And I see different shades now

And I'm almost never afraid now

But when I think I'll be okay

I am always wrong now'

Then it happened. That friendship became intimate, despite their social and military allegiances. Each breathless night they spent together, the more clear Lightning saw. This was her destiny.

'My hands

Don't wanna start again

My hands

No they don't wanna understand

My hands

They just shake and try to break

whatever peace I may find'

Lightning had to let him go. Zack had to go on a very important mission on his home world. Before he left, Zack held her hands in his and whispered, "I'll be back Lightning. When I come back, we'll run together, run away from this damn rivalry." If she wasn't so in love, Lightning would have argued, but she didn't. Serah is old enough that she can take care of herself.

'My hands

They only agree to hold

Your hands

And they don't wanna be without

Your hands

And they will not let me go

No they will not let me go'

He never returned to her. After four years, news finally came to her that he died fighting for his honor and dreams.

'Sometimes I wake and see them reaching out for you

Quietly breaking whatever shields

I spent so long building up

I cannot fake, cos when they cry I'm unspoken

They miss holding my baby'

She cried constantly. He didn't keep his promise. He LIED to her...

'My hands

They don't wanna start again

My hands

No they don't wanna understand

My hands

They just shake and try to break

whatever peace I may find'

Why didn't he try and stay alive?

'My hands

Your hands

They don't want to be without

Your hands

They will not let me go

No they will not let me go'

Lightning eventually gave up on grieving. There was work to do, bills to pay, a sister to take care of. There was no time for grieving for a dead man, no matter how much Lightning loved him.

'My hands

They don't wanna start again

My hands

No they don't wanna understand

My hands

They just shake and try to break

whatever peace I may find'

She couldn't let go. Every day, she thinks about him.

'My hands

They don't wanna start again

My hands

No they don't wanna understand

My hands

They just shake and try to break

whatever peace I may find'

But Lightning now knows that she will never let go of Zack. He will always be in her heart, her mind, her soul. Forever.

'My hands

They only agree to hold

Your hands

And they don't wanna be without

Your hands

And they will not let me go

No they will not let me go

No they will not let me go'


End file.
